Boring sunday

Today nothing special,woke up at 3pm but do nothing....watch tv,watch tv,thats all my day....now only want start to do my assignment... my heart tell my brain ''Is the time for you to study and do your assignment ady!'' Hope my brain will listen to it....This few weeks i have change a lot that i never realise.Yesterday my friend told me ''esther,you are source of inspiration but why this few weeks you are different? Why u suddenly dissapear?" but actually i also don know what's going on with myself...lazy time ady past,is the time for me to cheer up. Nowadays i am very worry about my FYP proposal,maybe i give myself too high expectation until i do nothing. Where is my unique idea? Senior ask me don worry cos is just a proposal which i can keep on change before i start my FYP but for me it is important to determine who i am or which level of knowledge that i have....idea,idea, where are you??? Boring sunday,cheer up my life.....

Picture from :http://jerryong.com/blog/boring.jpg

Depression

Now only realise i can straight away wrote so much blog in one day..Oops,now is ady 12.25am that mean 2nd day ady..i am a person who easy to depress.. Last week heard from my mum that my aunt depress until she suicide,luckily now ok but in hospital. The symptom like me always heard many voice surrounding,i hate that feeling..But luckily i still know how to make myself happy...i don know what i want..sometime,i will suddenly cry or go away from everyone,i don like that kind of me but i don know what to do...Life is so complicated and tired.Sometime i was wondering why i cant just rest in the coffin and let my life going to be end. I am so silly...Suddenly feel depress,don know what will be in my future,i keep on finding what i want or needs but is hard to get.I am very stubborn girl,nobody can advice me or consolate me....Life is in my hand now,i hope i can keep going on....Maybe i make myself too pressure,i want to do everythings very well and perfect...Evertime i just show people i am strong and clever but is it a true of me?i also cant answer it.....Life,i hope i will be happy.....

after sick-Lazy

Last few weeks keep on gastric pain..Even went to hospistal ady but still same condition....medicine,medicine,medicine....what a life is? Now i start to take care of my healthy (maybe)....Doctor said'' No coffee,No chocolate,No spicy,No stress",oh my god,is whole package which i love...how was my life whithout those things? i cant imagine...mum said it can be my mentally problem which i think if i sick i can prevent go to uni,haha...i don think is true....cos is really pain like hell. but this few days the condition become better..This maybe because of i eat a bit a bit only and whitout coffee life....But the things is even getting better,my lazyness become more worse....i never study or do my assignments...i don know what i am doing,just very tired and sleepy....one weeks mid sem break i just spent it for my gastric pain and my lazyness..The other 7 weeks coming,if i didnt study i going to be die soon...hope i can get the power straight away lead me to graduate,is really wonderful no need think too much....Life,KL life is worse for me..i face many things here,lost my best friend,a lot problem here and etc....wish i can be more strong and strong...

i am back

haha,long time never blogging.....since that day my e-marketing lecturer mr jonathan ask whole class '' who is a blogger'' then my answer is ''i am an ex-blogger''. Sir felt weird so asking me ''why ex-blogger?'' and my answer of course is "because i am lazy"....haha,but now a bit guilty,so come back to my blogger life....so,welcome back to blog esther.....hope this time will be last long... Any why my blog is "evil diary"???guess...guess...actually i also don know but i think myself is a evil,blog is a part of my diary so is call "evil diary''....