Depression

Now only realise i can straight away wrote so much blog in one day..Oops,now is ady 12.25am that mean 2nd day ady..i am a person who easy to depress.. Last week heard from my mum that my aunt depress until she suicide,luckily now ok but in hospital. The symptom like me always heard many voice surrounding,i hate that feeling..But luckily i still know how to make myself happy...i don know what i want..sometime,i will suddenly cry or go away from everyone,i don like that kind of me but i don know what to do...Life is so complicated and tired.Sometime i was wondering why i cant just rest in the coffin and let my life going to be end. I am so silly...Suddenly feel depress,don know what will be in my future,i keep on finding what i want or needs but is hard to get.I am very stubborn girl,nobody can advice me or consolate me....Life is in my hand now,i hope i can keep going on....Maybe i make myself too pressure,i want to do everythings very well and perfect...Evertime i just show people i am strong and clever but is it a true of me?i also cant answer it.....Life,i hope i will be happy.....